Anxiety case

Oh people, help me!!
I can’t sleep
My mind thinks and my heart beats

Fear drums in my ears
Night ghosts are dancing behind my door
Disturbing my sleep

Poisonous thoughts are growing in my mind
Glittering lights break my darkness
Refuse to let me close my eyes

There is no place to find

There is no place to hide

I’m staring at the clock
Or the clock is staring at me
Two sharp swords are killing my desire of sleep
It is not a daydream, nor a nightmare
It is the reality of anxiety

I hope to rest …

I wish to dream …

I need to sleep,to sleep deep !!!
~~~~
Blackmatta/Blue

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Waiting Book!!~~

An open book with so many pages
Some hidden and some revealed
But what I was searching ,
The book which had something!!

Something which could relate me
Something which could relate you
In a way to make it sensing
I was searching the book which had something!!

The bold letters , making it unique
The fine pages , making it glorious
It was written the same way , I was finding
The book which had something!!

But what was there missing
That it has not been given title yet
Perhaps it was the same I had to name
The book which had something!!

Was it left for me to complete
Or still it was waiting for someone else
I had no idea , so , left for naming
The book which had something!!

Still waiting if someone could name that
Not just name but an identity
Which it deserves to be given
The book which had something!!

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ExPeCtAtIoNs!!~

It was quite difficult to come out,
From the dream which I had seen.
Perhaps it was a good lesson
How to hide yourself from expectations!!

This wasn’t first time or something new,
When something like this happened.
But this time it was unimaginable situation
That I will be alone in the limelight of expectation!!

Just like keep dreaming & get to work
I was also dreaming to get some hopes alive
But on me, those dreams hadn’t any impression
And I was there to fight in the world of expectations!!

I don’t want to dream now
It is something not made for everyone
Now without dreams, wanna live with limitations
As no one knows when there will be some new expectations!!

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16/3/2003

It doesn’t matter where she came from
It doesn’t matter what color her skin was
It doesn’t matter in which religion she believed

It matters that she was an activist

She came to support us
Then she became a victim!

Bravely,
She stood in front of an armored bulldozer
Loudly,
She screamed…
Stop this demolition!

Claimed they didn’t notice
Claimed they didn’t hear
But they couldn’t tell the opposite
Because everything was clear

Underneath the bulldozer,
They killed her
Twice, they crushed her body!
Oh blind world
Where are you everybody?

Her blood watered Rafah’s land
And her name became a legend
“Rachel Corrie”
You are in our hearts

***************

Blackmatta/Blue

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The first whisper of spring

She drew near unto me
And whispered in my ear
Her words, like melodies
Coursing through my veins
“We will meet tomorrow”
Then, she disappeared behind the clouds

***

I prepared myself well
I bought her a bouquet of roses
Not more delicate than her
Both were ravishing though!

***

At five sharp, we were there
She didn’t come before me
And I didn’t come after her
We have never been late!

***

Together on the bench
Two cups of Mocha
Two smiling faces
But lonely lovers were awaiting
Watching our flying hearts
And wondering,
“When will our turn come?”

***

I felt sorry for them
Perhaps they were unlucky
Perhaps they lost their love
Again, she whispered in my ear
“They will smile, and much”

Blackmatta/Blue

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Puzzlement

To whom shall I say my last goodbye?
To the shining sun or to the shady sky

**

To whom shall I say my last goodbye?
To the lost happiness or to the last cry

**

To whom shall I say my last goodbye?
To the tough person or to the tearful eye

**

To whom shall I say my last goodbye?
To the former failure or to the first try

**

To whom shall I say my last goodbye?
To the right answer or to the wrong reply

**

To whom shall I say my last goodbye?
To the unstoppable what, when, how or why

******************

Blackmatta/Blue

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love

I won’t say that every beat of my heart beats for you. It beats to maintain blood circulation in my body so that I can be alive. But I can say that I would not be living if you weren’t with me. Now it seems that my whole world is you.
Will you spend your rest of life with me?
@@@@ I LOVE YOU MY LIFE. @@@@

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Answers~~

When I asked from rivers
Why you are making my shadows
They pointed me to sun
Like they weren’t forming those!!

When I asked from winds
Why you are flowing here
They pointed me to plants
Like they always have a fear!!

When I asked from Fires
Why you always have heat and light
They pointed me to air
Like they always do a fight!!

When I asked from Butterflies
Why you are so colorful
They pointed me to rainbow
Like they have any strict rule!!

When I asked from Stars
Why you always come in night
They pointed me to lights
Like we need a different sight!!

When I asked from flowers
Why you always need a plant
They pointed me to soil
Like they always have to take grant!!

When I asked from present
Why you always have past
They pointed me to future
Like nothing is going to be last…..!!

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Is There Any Other Way To Love You?

From time to time I ask myself
If there would be another way to love you
even more than I am doing now
Now and then, I still want to know
If there is any other way to shelter
these feelings that joined us…
My love , my dearest love
Sometimes I feel all I can give you is not enough
What you make me feel is so infinite
That words in any language can not even depict it
This beating you generate is so powerful
That I have to keep it under wrap
In order not to loose us
Cause this tenderness we have is so free
It is so unique
That I am afraid of letting it loose at any time.
My love, my sweet love
Would I be able to feel you deeper
than I am feeling now?
Would I be able to throw my heart to you?
Would you be able to reach it
and hold on to its softness?
My dear love,
Would it be possible
to transform my caresses into rainbows?
would it be possible to strew those rainbows
through your way?
My dear, how can I explain this to you?
I love you from a faraway place
In that place, your hands can touch
me without restrictions,
I love you from a remote point
where these verses make you mine
I love you from a dream
where you and me are just one…
My dearest boy,
Would you get to understand
I am a passionate soul?
Would you take the fact
you are the flame that keeps me alive?
From time to time, I wonder myself
If this lifetime is enough for such greatest love …

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Night mirror

Mirror, mirror

It is time to speak

Tell the wall we can’t sneak

But we want to go away

We want to run

We want to play

***

Mirror, mirror

Stop watching us

We won’t be late

We’ll catch the bus

***

Mirror, mirror

If the moon comes,

Tell him to wait

Or let it be

We will have fun

Then we will see

***

Mirror, mirror

Reflect our souls

Sail inside us

Reveal our goals

***
Mirror, mirror

Promise to keep..

The secrets..

Of day and night

Blackmatta/Blue

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